How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
