Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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