i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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