Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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