He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
