I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize