Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
