I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
