I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
