he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
