I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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