Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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