Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You are the jesus of drinking
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
