dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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