I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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