We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
