everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
