nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
