using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
