think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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