Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You ate ashes out of my bong
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
