So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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