I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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