and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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