Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
