wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
