Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
