She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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