you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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