And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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