We're like a lot better than the average bears
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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