Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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