never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Randomize
