i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
