In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
