I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
