Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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