i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
