I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
