i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I fill condoms, not promises.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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