waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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