wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
