OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
