I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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