I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
