its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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