he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
