so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We are all done wearing pants today
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
