never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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