The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
