It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
