cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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