Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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