I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
