allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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