I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
