my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
