just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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