come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
