Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
