Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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