Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
