stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you win again, gameday.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
