youre lurking in front of me
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
