We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My ATM looks so different sober.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize