We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
