I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
