I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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