your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
