...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
