Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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