Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
