i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You made out with two different species that night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
