he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're a waste of cheezeits
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize