ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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