Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
