we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
