That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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