tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
