They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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