I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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