he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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