I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
